Boiling Mud, Tall Trees and 1 Big Lake

My vacation was amazing. I cavorted with the wilderness, I cajoled among the flowers; I consorted with the fauna.

Sweet, peaceful and at ease; this is how your diabolical Mistress looks on vacation.

Sweet, peaceful and at ease; this is how your diabolical Mistress looks on vacation.

I can’t even go into how much I enjoyed being in among nature and how I didn’t miss you sniveling bitches for even a single second. I’m going to assume you’re following me on Twitter and were pretty much with me, living vicariously through my tweets during my fairytale adventures…

Documenting in Pigtails

Documenting in Pigtails

So I’m making this post a quick recap of the highlights. But there were just so many highlights!!

Start of My 15 Day Vacation... Rock On!

Start of My 15 Day Vacation… Rock On!

FIRST STOP: LASSEN VOLCANIC NATIONAL PARK
An area of active volcanism for more than three million years (to be read in a creepy, medieval, witchy voice.)

An area of active volcanism for more than three million years (to be read in a creepy, medieval, witchy voice.)

600,000 years ago there was a volcano whose peak reached 11,000 ft. high and was so vast, its base diameter was 12┬ámiles around. It dominated the surrounding area. It’s name was Mount Tehama (what remains today is humiliatingly referred to as Brokeoff Mountain.) It was revered and respected by other smaller volcanoes in the vicinity. It spouted and spewed, boiled and blew for 200,000 years until finally, it blew its top off and now a series of smaller volcanoes have replaced this area of active volcanism.

Steaming vents...

Steaming vents…

Gurgling mudpots...

Gurgling mudpots…

Cutie...

Cutie…

Hissing rivers...

Hissing rivers…

And "Boiling Lake"

And “Boiling Lake”

It was all very surreal.. and a little stinky, but mostly surreal.

SECOND STOP: REDWOODS NATIONAL PARK

If I had to choose which national park is my favorite, like someone had a gun to my head and demanded a choice, I wouldn’t hesitate, Redwoods is my favorite.

I am home.

I am home.

The majestic old trees towering above all else have a way of humbling a person, but not in a snotty dominating way, but with a kind and wise demeanor. They have a way of taking my breath away, erasing my mind and easing my spirit.

Making you feel small and humble, taking your breath away, erasing your mind.. no wonder I like the Redwoods, we have so much in common.

Making you feel small and humble, taking your breath away, erasing your mind.. no wonder I like the Redwoods, we have so much in common.

Majestic trees over 1,500 years old and reaching over 350 feet into the sky aren’t the only things that your Mistress loves about the Redwoods though…

There are 30 ft. fern walls...

There are 30 ft. fern walls…

Incredible sunsets on the ocean…

Elk.. "These are my bitches."

Elk..

“These are my bitches.”

Tide pools that demand you kick off your boots, roll up your pants and explore them thoroughly...

Tide pools that demand you kick off your boots, roll up your pants and explore them thoroughly…

Seals.. "These are my bitches."

Seals..

“These are my bitches.”

And even the fallen Redwood is a fascination, creating habitats for moss, ferns and like this one, a pot for Solomon's Seal.

And even the fallen Redwood is a fascination, creating habitats for moss, ferns and like this one, a pot for Solomon’s Seal.

I wish I could live there, become a wood sprite and frolic in the greenery all day long.

Yipeeeeeeee!!

Yipeeeeeeee!!

But then who would take care of my bitches? Alas, we must move on to…

PARK #3: CRATER LAKE NATIONAL PARK

Crater Lake is almost a combination of the two previously visited parks. It used to be a mammoth volcano and now is something so grand, so huge, it literally takes your breath away.

Sunrise.. Oooooooh.

A jaw-dropping inspiration of awe.

A jaw-dropping inspiration of awe.

Up at dawn and looking frisky, fresh and like I could fuck you over.

Up at dawn and looking frisky, fresh and like I could fuck you over.

A little mid day mockery.

A little mid day mockery.

And even more. This time I insult you from inside a volcano which is inside a volcano. Wrap your head around that.

And even more. This time I insult you from inside a volcano which is inside a volcano. Wrap your head around that.

Ahhhhhhh.. your beautiful, unattainable Goddess at sunset.

Ahhhhhhh.. your beautiful, unattainable Goddess at sunset.

Sunset.. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Don't you like making me smile? Good boy.

xx, go fuck yourselves; you love me.

All in all, a glorious vacation funded by my fools, my bitches, my minions, my pets.

Be a good boy and add to the funding of my next adventure by clicking my links and spending all of what you know is really MY money anyway.

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