Sex, Kink and Happiness


I’m afraid I may disappoint some of you looking for my usual dose of snark and piss this week. I’m feeling oddly.. grateful..? No, that’s not the right word.. hmmmm, pleasant? Not enough. Euphoric? Too much. Content? Yes and no. In my opinion, a true brat princess is never totally content and I’ve found this to be true of myself on a very regular basis. Wait, I think I’m feeling generally happy. Here I’m trying to find the right word thinking it’s some extraordinary mystery and it is just a simplistic, childlike emotion. Happy.

Oh come on, it’s not like this is some breakthrough in an overly-emotional, agitated therapy session. I mean, why wouldn’t I be happy?

I am happy for my marriage, my family, my friends.

I am happy for my chosen profession and the opportunity to degrade you on a regular basis.

I am happy for the extraordinary two-week vacation from which I just returned.

I am happy for the education bestowed upon me and my ability to form sentences correctly with respect to the structure for which they were intended. I am happy for the pride I take in that and other things as well.

I am happy for air-conditioning and tequila.

I am happy for my beautiful house and its close proximity to the cool ocean water.

Why, just this morning during a regular bowel movement (for which I am also happy) I was perched on the toilet looking out the window and to my delight there was a bunny grooming himself. I watched the birds zoom in and out of the trees and this adorable rabbit wash his face. Does it get any better than that? I’m like a fucking modern day Snow White, minus the bowel movement.

Now, believe me, I can also come up with a list of all the things I thoroughly dislike that plague me and add to my unhappiness, but I choose not to.. at least for today. Today, I have decided on happy. It is my decision; it is a choice and there is a difference. It’s one thing to consider yourself happy with aspects of your life. It’s another to acknowledge, embrace your own happiness and choose that to be your focus.


There really is so much shit in the world and often I tend to point these things out, complain and focus on the negative. I have never denied being a snot-nosed cunt and really, discontent/ disappointment, it just comes naturally to me.  I often say if you’re ok with everything around you, then you really are a clueless, apathetic git. But most of that to which I am referring is worldly unhappiness/ discontent on a global scale. I am urging you to keep pushing for more happiness in those categories and never stop being pissed off with the wrongs in the world, but for today, I want you focusing on your own, personal discontent and then receive my gracious guidance.

Don't you like making me smile? Good boy.

Don’t you like making me smile? Good boy.

Do continue being unhappy with yourself, your efforts, your sad lot in life. Be discontent with the size of your sex. Be outraged with yourself for not having bought my top-selling clips. Be humbled because you can’t spend more on me even though you know I deserve it. Be embarrassed that you haven’t contacted me about your desire to serve. Be all these things, but just for a moment; then move on and fucking do something about them!! BE THE CHANGE I SEEK and you too can choose happiness. I’ll even help you. I’ll help you choose happy. I’ll guide you to satisfaction and contentment.


There’s really not much you can do about your tiny jerk stick. Accept it and make up for it. Buy me a present as a way of apologizing for your inadequacies:



Acknowledge that you have been wanting to buy my clips. Are you afraid of getting addicted? Not today. Throw caution to the wind; be a big boy. Take the plunge. These three clips will only cost you around $30, but they will reward you with, what? Yep, you guessed it: sex, kink and HAPPINESS!







I know there are many of you who spend your money on a regular basis to make me happy. I bet 98% of you wish you could spend more though. Go through your shit, your basement, your attic. Have a garage sale. Sell stuff to some unsuspecting fools on the Internet. It’s easy; I do it all the time. 😉 Cut back on your vices.. coffee, alcohol, sex toys, even going out with friends, these things are not as necessary as happiness!

Start with an extra $50 tribute today and watch the happy metamorphosis begin!


Do you know how many boys contact me saying they’ve secretly been worshipping me from afar, stalking my twitter, buying my clips, but too afraid to make contact. We all know you’re a pathetic jerkoff bitch, but tell me; are you content with this role? If you were, then why are you longing for more? Do it. Now. Embrace the happiness.


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Choose the right thing, bitches. Choose sex. Choose tributes. Choose chastity. Choose recycling. Choose gift cards and presents. Choose kink. Choose adoration and servitude. Choose roses, pink ones. Choose anal stimulation. Choose edging. Choose denial. Choose bunnies and birds. Choose happiness. My happiness!