Happy Independence Day, fuckers. Now, give me what I want!


What does independence mean to you? Oh, shut up. It was a rhetorical question and really, nobody cares what you think.

Independence is defined in the dictionary as: freedom from subjection or from the influence of others..
But the real beauty here is not the definition of independence, but the definition of independent:

1. not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.

2. not subject to another’s authority or jurisdiction.

3. not guided by others.

4. not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.

5. not relying on another or others for aid or support.

6. possessing sufficient financial resources to be free of another’s control or the need to work.

7. self-confident; unconstrained.

The definition of independence may as well have a femdomme next to it, or at least reference her. Self-confidant, not subject to another’s authority, sufficient financial resources.. really, it could be me you are describing.

What independence means to me is freedom. Freedom from those pesky obligations I don’t want, freedom from an obligatory day job, freedom from chores, freedom from financial concerns and especially freedom from financial limitations. It’s about only doing the things I want to do and I guess that’s really what our founding fathers were demanding as well. My mission statement to society and what’s expected of me is akin to their declaration to England. I don’t want to be restricted to a monotonous day job. I don’t want to answer to anyone let alone a stupid, pompous male. They were similar. They didn’t want to be beholden to a king on a distant shore who always had his hands in their pockets.


Just like those radical revolutionaries with frilly underwear and girly coifs, I am my own woman. The metamorphosis to my independence is complete. I do not answer to anyone. I do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I have mastered that aspect of independence. I am strong, confident and above you. And just like the eventual fate of those who fought for their rights, I bathe in the glorious success of independence but unlike those of you celebrating that declaration signed 237 years ago, I celebrate it on a daily basis.


But, you know me.. I still want more. More money, more worship, more devotion. More, more, more.. after all, isn’t that the essential American attitude?

Happy Independence Day, fuckers. Now, give me what I want!